Monday, April 30, 2007

in her shoes


At work, I have thirteen people reporting to me. each individual staff has a different personality. it sometimes amazes me how such a diverse group of people can work well together without any major mishaps. it also amazes me how we manage to stay sane and happy working together despite our differences. when dealing with each one, i "put on their shoes" for us to be in the same perspective.

among the group, there's one staff who seem not to fit in. she was new. she's the quiet type, if you profile the team i work with, you'd probably have a hard time putting her into a category. it's not that she's totally different, but there's something about her that alienates her from the team. That was something i wanted to change. Change, being the operative word here is a two-way street. we cannot just always push for things to happen, sometimes the other person has to act as catalyst for things to start.

We had until the 15th of May to work wonders and she had to do a complete make-over of her work. bottomline, i seriously doubt she'd be given permanent position. but, i had never been good at delivering THE BAD news. probably because she was not easy to read. i don't know what's going on in her mind. the last time i talked to her, she told me she wanted to fit in, she wanted things to work. I guess I secretly wanted her to fit in too, just so I won't have to do the "deed" (telling her she's not good enough).

Having the future of the team in mind, sadly, i already knew what i had to do, even before the 15th of May. but how to tell her as gently as I could. that I had to work and pray for. i told myself, i'll just put myself in her shoes when the time comes.

this morning, she asked me if we could talk. she had a piece of bond paper in her hand. she sounded serious and I said to myself as I was walking towards the place where we could talk privately, 'Lord, could you be answering my prayer already?'.

And the Lord said, 'my dear child, I am.' We sat down and talked and she actually tendered her resignation. She was offered her job back at her old company. she knew she was not doing such a good job, she said.

The Lord has spared her and me of that ugly confrontation. I know someday it will still happen, me giving a not-so-good news, but now I know that I only have to lift it up to Him and He will do the rest.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

the gift of womanhood

i would just like to share this reading i came across with about women over 30. This was written by a man. This is for all you girls 30 years and over.... and for those who are turning 30, and for those who are scared of moving into their 30's...AND for guys who are scared of girls over 30!!!!...

This is not to undermine woman under this age, but this is just a small tribute to women like me who are over 30. Cheers to all women who are thirty, thriving and still beautiful inside and out. Enjoy!



This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes.

Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most
of all. Here are just a few reasons why:



A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.

Women over 30 have more tricks up their sleeve in bed. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

***

when i was in middle school i thought when i reached this age i'm ancient! but now that i'm here, i feel that life has just started for me. and i'm proud to say it's a great age to be in! What do you think?

Thursday, April 26, 2007

on the lighter side...

I had a long day at work today. i had 3 meetings in the morning which finished by lunch time. Me and my friends had lunch at Yellow Cab Pizza Co. We had the New York's Finest pizza and a Charlie Chan Chicken Pasta. that meal was heavenly. when i got back i made some phone calls, signed several letters and documents and attended another meeting. As the end of the day drew near i couldn't help but do a bit of clock-watching. ahh 30 minutes more and i'm outta here!

i won't report for work tomorrow to get my daughter's report card in school, so i had to finish the reports due tomorrow. I signed more documents and letters after the meeting and I felt my eyes were starting to hurt a bit. ahhh it was nerve-wracking! Ack! A few more minutes till i go home, i consoled myself.

I rested my back for awhile and made a mental note that i needed to be home by 8pm. I decided to spend some precious seconds to read some of my "non-office related" e-mails. otherwise known as, junk mails. I came across this one and it made me laugh out loud. hope it makes your day too!


Cat listening to Stevie Wonder





Cat listening to HOUSE music





Cat listening to METAL




Cat listening to HIP HOP




Cat listening to GANGSTA RAP




Cat listening to TECHNO music under ecstasy



The Gangsta Rap is my favorite. Which one is yours? Don't you just love listening to music? have a nice day =)

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

what mattered most

Have you heard the song "what matters most" by Kenny Rankin? I love that song. I requested my dad to sing that song for me on my wedding day. I was so excited when he agreed, however when THE DAY came, he kinda chickened out. Instead a string quartet played the song while I was walking down the aisle. my eyes were so misty, i couldn't see a thing. in my mind, it was my dad who was singing for me.

I asked my dad why he backed out. He told me he felt so emotional that he couldn't even speak. the lyrics were simple, the message was clear. this song somehow depicts my farewell bid to my childhood. it was like saying, "mom and dad, the days that I spent with you had been sweet and unforgettable and now as I enter my new life I would like to thank you for the wonderful childhoold that i had, it will be the foundation i'll use to build my own family.



Thank you for showing me how to love unconditionally, that kind of love is very hard to come by. Thank you for teaching me that it did not matter that our lives were not so perfect as long as we were happy there was no problem greater than that. Thank you for letting me discover myself and teaching me to love the "me" that i found staring back in the mirror. Thank you for loving me in the good and bad times, just knowing you are there for me helped me become strong. thank you for being there for me as i learned to stand on my own and experience life. and thank you for opening my eyes to the world, letting me know that who I am and how I deal with other people will determine how happy and successful my life would be.

you both taught me it did not matter that loving someone could sometimes hurt so much you ached all over, what mattered was I was capable of loving - not all people have that gift. =) here's the lyrics of the song. hope you like it too

It's not how long we held each other's hand
What matters is how well we loved each other
It's not how far we travelled on our way
Of what we found to say
It's not the spring you see, but all the shades of green

It's not how long I held you in my arms
What matters is how sweet the years together
It's not how many summertimes we had to give to fall
The early morning smiles we tearfully recall
What matters most is that we loved at all.

It's not how many summertimes we had to give to fall
The early morning smiles we tearfully recall
What matters most is that we loved at all.

What matters most is that we loved at all.


incidentally the picture in this post is not my wedding picture but that of my sister's. i love this picture. from left to right, that's my hubby, me, my mom, my sister, my dad and my brother. the flower girls are katrina and pia. my family.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

my dad's a blogger!


my dad writes pretty well. now that he has a lot of free time after he retired, I encouraged him to write a journal. he has written several beautiful and moving articles and essays in the past and i am looking forward to reading his posts daily.

he is new to blogging and i applaud him for having the courage to leave his comfort zone and finally make his journal on-line! check out his site: life is too short

i love you dad! i hope you don't mind me attaching your picture here =)

Friday, April 20, 2007

"How do you share the grace you receive from God on a day-to-day basis?"



This article is my submission to the blog challenge sponsored by the devotional team blog, "Laced with Grace."

In our country, the Philippines, poverty and lack of self-worth is as common as the flu. When you roam the streets, beggars and peddlers would come to you and pester you non-stop for loose change. It became so common that people, like me, tend to become desensitized and cold. The inclination to ignore and get on with my daily life is irresistable. It's always better not to get involved.

One afternoon, when I was home-bound I decided to have a light snack in the nearby Mc Donald's in Ayala Avenue near my office in Makati. Most of the diners were young profesisonals like me. Ayala Avenue is like Wall Street in the US. It is the Business Capital in our country. As I walked inside, I saw the regulars already busy eating. Their faces were animated as they chattered on about their lives. They seemed to me, oblivious to the world.

I was waiting for my order to be filled, so I decided to sit at the nearby table while I was waiting for my number to be called. To pass time, I do some people-watching. It was at that moment that I saw a young mother carrying a child about a year old. She was sitting at a nearby table, looking at the diners as they munched into their burgers and fries. Something was off, I said to myself. My interest, now, was focused on the young mother who was obviously waiting for a few scraps of food from the diners. She was saying something I could not hear. I thought, she's probably asking for money. And just then the security guard came over to her motioning her to step outside.

As I was watching the woman struggle and plead with security, I felt something happen inside of me. I could easily just ignore them and wait for my order and walk away. Not get involved. But I thought, I could buy them a meal, it would not cost much. I spend a whole lot more on non-essentials why not a Php 50 meal? I was having a fight with myself then. You see, I was unknowingly pre-programmed not to care about peddlers and beggars. They were just a nuisance of society. I have done it in the past and walked away, why should today be any different? I tried to avoid her gaze, but it was as if her eyes were compelling me to look. The guards were now a little hard on her and she kept saying something I could not understand, but as she drew closer to me, I heard her say - "Please, please, my child and I are just hungry. Please." she begged. And I was surprised to hear a croaked voice say, "let her go, she's with me." Was that me? Yes it was. She gave me a tearful smile that spoke of her gratefulness. I felt my heart swell up like a balloon. I ordered them a meal.

As I handed her the food, she touched my hand and a tear fell down her face. She said, "thank you, thank you so much. we haven't eaten in two days." I wanted to hug them both, i wanted to adopt them as I felt my heart swell and ache, but all I said was "you're welcome, now eat your food" and then I left.

As I was walking away from there I could still feel her eyes boring in my shoulderblades. When things in our lives are going great and you have nothing to complain about, it's easy to forget about God. It is easy to think that YOU were the author of your success.What if that happened to me? What if I become so poor that I didn't have anything to give my child to eat? Would anybody care? Probably not! If nobody will care, then who will? It was then that I realized how blessed I was. I was blessed to have a steady job that earns me money to buy a burger, enough money to buy a car, enough money to pay my bills, and enough money to feed my family. I had a lot of things going well in my life and all she needed was someone who will care enough to share a little grace.

If we are receipients of a lot of blessings and grace, we should continue to pass around the blessing by being the source of blessings and grace to other people.

You are blessed


received this in the e-mail and thought i'd share it with you guys.

each of us is blessed every day. sadly though, we are sometimes too caught up in our miseries and worries that we forget how really fortunate we are to have God on our side . hope you realize how BLESSED you are today=)

If you woke up this morning
with more health than illness,
you are more blessed than the
million who won't survive the week.

If you have never experience
the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment,
the agony of torture or
the pangs of starvation,
you are ahead of 20 million people
around the world.

If you attend a church meeting
without fear of harassment,
arrest, torture, or death,
you are more blessed than almost
three billion people in the world.
.
If you have food in your refrigerator,
clothes on your back, a roof over
your head and a place to sleep,
you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank,
in your wallet, and spare change
in a dish someplace, you are among
the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still married and alive,
you are very rare,
especially in the United States.


If you hold up your head with a smile
on your face and are truly thankful,
you are blessed because the majority can,
but most do not

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them
or even touch them on the shoulder,
you are blessed because you can
offer God's healing touch.

If you can read this message,
you are more blessed than over
two billion people in the world
that cannot read anything at all.


You are so blessed in ways
you may never even know.




If you are a recipient of a blessing, keep the blessing working by being the source of blessing to other people.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

a day at the Museum


my kids loves museums. my daughter Pia got good grades in Sibika (History subject) because her dad and i toured the museums with her. making history more alive.we were surprised that she almost got a perfect score in her Sibika exam after touring Intramuros and Luneta.

Here are some pics of the tour to the Museo Pambata,this is a hands-on children discovery museum. it's really a lot of fun.




the girls looking at the Gravity Table.



This is the Meralco Tranvia, a form of transportation back then.



Entrance to the different parts of the body while touring body parts.



Looking cute as a lady and a gentleman dressed in the old days.

Monday, April 16, 2007

my baby girl goes to summer school


a few more weeks before school starts here in June and my husband and i are getting a little antsy.

zoe my youngest daughter will start as a Nursery student this school year and knowing that she is quite a handful sends butterflies in my stomach. Will she behave in school? Will the teachers like her or hate her? What if a classmate made her angry? will she rant and rave and hurt someone? Gosh! these crazy thoughts are running wild in my mind and i feel a little guilty having them.

so to prepare her we decided to enroll her to the school's "Smart Start" program which aims to train little tots before the school starts. The program will run for 10 days for one-and-a-half hour each session. my husband and i are hoping that this program will jump start my little girl's sociability and help her mingle with other kids without getting a little violent. a tendency she is inclined to nowadays. ever since she turned 3. she is putting her foot down and sometimes get downright nasty. my husband and i are sometimes at a lost. probably because my first born was the epitome of an angel. i know it's bad to compare, but i guess i just have to save a lot more tricks up my sleeves. she's one tough cookie! but i adore her very much! tips anyone?

today was her first day and i felt guilty and a little sad that i was not the one who brought her to summer school today. i had a prior commitment that I could not get out of, so i had to content myself with text messages from my husband, who volunteered to take our little one to school this morning and from my mom, who picked her up. they gave me a blow-by-blow.

i know i'm just worrying too much, but then what mom doesn't? i got a little teary-eyed this morning when i left early and my little girl was still asleep, i wanted so much to be the one to give her a bath today and fix her hair up. Ahhh the trade-off we moms endure.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

always walk at the sunny side of the street

i was reading my sister's blog www.waitingforbuchiko.blogspot.com she writes about her lonely journey towards motherhood. It's been 5 years now and she's still without child. i cry inside with her as she waits in line for her turn in filling those empty arms with that elusive love.

here's a peep inside her heart:
http://www.vocalicious.com/empty_arms/empty_arms_mod.html

after watching it, i felt cold and raw. it was like holding her heart and soul in the palm of my hand. i could almost feel her sadness, her anger, her growing bitterness floating around like dark blood poisoning her soul.

she probably sees her life in darkness right now, but here is what I SEE:

i see a strong and vibrant woman eager to take on the world
i see a warrior who is ready to move heaven and earth to protect her family
i see a vulnerable but hopeful woman wishing and praying to experience what she thinks will complete her.
i see a loving wife and a thoughtful daughter
i see a loyal and trusted friend
i see a sister always ready to lend a hand
i see a woman so full of life, always eager to experience the world
i see a woman with so much heart that she doesn't know what to do with it
BUT i also see that her long journey has somewhat taken it's toll on her heart.
i also see a weary soul whose patience is wearing thin, as she searches for answers to her deepest and most sacred prayers


don't turn the lights off just yet. it is okay to feel sad and angry. who wouldn't be? when all around you is a constant reminder of an unfulfiled longing. it's okay to feel a little bitter, we're human after all. but it's NOT okay to let it consume you to the core. i have been there, i also have PCOS, although my journey was not as long as yours, i have also tasted the bitter pill.

we cannot do anything right now, waiting could be a bitch, i know. but there is one thing that i do know, you will NEVER EVER wait alone =)

here's a song i want you to hear. the road may be long and narrow in the journey that you're in. but it's always so much more fun walking at the sunny side of the street. i love you sis, Happy Birthday!

Friday, April 13, 2007

a blog addict


yes it's official. i'm a blog addict. during my lunch break i trekked to Powerbooks (a specialty bookstore here in the Philippines). i went straight to the Creative Writing section and skimmed through self-help books. i found this book "How to Write the Story of Your Life" by Frank P. Thomas. The book aims to help writer wannabes get started on recording their life stories. hope this helps me perk up this site.

i'm going to do some reading first and get back to you on this. I also think ProBlogger's site is pretty helpful. Check it out!

Monday, April 09, 2007

highlight your life


If I were to put a highlighter in my life I would have these events to highlight.


1. The first would have to be passing the Medical Technology board exam. I know I studied hard for that and I was really proud of myself.
2. The second would be falling in love and being loved back. I know some of you are probably snickering about this one. But it was so easy to love a guy but it’s rare to find someone you love to love you back with the same intensity.
3. The third would of course be my wedding day. When you find the man you were destined to love, you don’t let go. You marry them. So that's what I did. It may not be so grand, but for the both of us. It was perfection.
4. the fourth would be Giving Birth to my first child. I think that moment was the ultimate catalyst that changed me. During childbirth, I somehow lost the “little girl” inside of me and become a MOM =)
5. the 5th, gosh it would be holding my little girl, Pia, for the first time. It was awesome, touching her, seeing her smile at me, needing me, loving me no matter what. It was nothing short of a miracle, really.
6. the next thousand moments that came after that would be the 6th. All of Pia’s firsts. First smile, first time she looked at me in the eye and recognized me as her mom, the first time she held my finger because hers were still tiny, her first cry, her first burp, her first time at home, her first words, first step. Those were great great moments.
7. next would be finding out that Pia is smart. I had hoped and wished she would be. (what mother didn’t?). but finding out for sure, was really breathtaking.
8. of course, the next would be finding out that I was pregnant again after five years.
9. ninth would be, giving birth via caesarian section for my second child. I had my first child via normal delivery and being operated on was a truly scary and awesome experience.
10. the next thousand moments would be all Zoe’s firsts like my daughter Pia.

We would probably run out of space if I would write all of the things that make up my life. What I found out is that there is no need to be afraid of all the changes that takes place in our lives. Life is bound to happen, whether you are ready or not. The best thing to do would be to just take the good stuff in and live life to the full, the best way that we can. What would you highlight in your life?

What do you wanna be when you grow up?



i'm almost finished reading this book by Bo Sanchez, a preacher in blue jeans, a missionary, writer and he writes good books too. i would say books that really matter and makes a lot of sense. this is his recent book and i was quite astounded at how well he tackled the issue. i thought he pretty much hit the bullseye! i guess i was the perfect audience. read this post and the book and you'll know why.

as a child growing up i was never driven to do things because of money. it's not that i was born rich, not to care, it was because i somehow associated wealth to some pretty bad things and feelings. i have known some rich people who liked looking down on people who don't have it, it changes one's outlook of life - for the worst, it makes one so greedy that they don't think about anything else but money. so you see money didn't look all that appealing to me then.

both my parents have always provided for us. and one thing i learned from them is that they may not always give us what we wanted, that new toy, those Barbies... but one thing they did give? is what we have always needed. love, food, shelter, clothing and happiness. everything a child needed to grow up well. we were not really deprived, there were toys, a lot of them too. but if we wanted things that we sometimes don't really need, we had to work for it. we earn it by doing chores, getting good grades and just being our good self. not bad eh? that way, getting those toys through hard work helped us appreaciate it more. we knew what we had to go through before we got it, so we took better care of it.

as i was growing up and about to go to college, i always wanted to be a doctor and a writer. i was torn between those two loves. for as long as i can remember, i have always wanted to be a doctor. my mom said as soon as i can talk i have talked non-stop about becoming a doctor. i was fascinated by science, the human body, the cure of diseases. when i play pretend with my sister and cousins i always wanted to be the doctor. but the wake up call came when i finished my pre-med course. going to med school was expensive. really expensive. more than what my parents can afford. although a lot of my relatives were more than willing to support me, it dawned to me that MONEY is essential not a frivolity. It was a vehicle that i needed ride to arrive at my future. it shocked me that i needed money after all.

no, i did not end up becoming a doctor. i did not want to impose on my parents. but i came very close to becoming one. and as a mom i get to play doctor most of the time=) now, i'm pursuing my other love...writing.

this book has showed me that i needed to do a lot of re-thinking. my husband and i are paid well in our jobs. so i said to myself, i could make money work for me not against me. you guys should read it and i promise you, you won't regret doing it.

for my ending i give you a quote from the book, "you are the way you are because that's the way you want to be. if you really wanted to be any different, you would be in the process of changing right now". - Fred Smith.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

how sexy are you?

Sexy. Now there’s a word a lot of women would like to be called. And one that I am sadly NOT (pout). Everyday I see a lot of different women walking the walk, talking the talk and all I could see in the mirror is a man. Okay well, a woman who looks and dresses like a man. Is it my hair? But I love my short hair. (pout again). Is it my stomach bulge? Now, that one I hate. But I can’t seem to get rid of the darned thing! It’s probably all those power lunches that I have been having. (a pout yet again).

When I eat a hotdog, I just chow it down with much gusto. I also eat it with all the works, catsup, mayo and with those oh-so-yummy mustard. and I would enjoy it like crazy. How does a “sexy” woman eat a hotdog? She would probably cut it in small pieces and slowly let it slide down her throat without smudging her lipstick and every man in the room would probably wish they were hotdogs. I’ve always wondered how they do it, probably with years of experience. (envy)

Pants or skirts? I have always opted for pants because I have those ugly, chubby legs. I only wear those skirts when I don’t have a choice. Like when I have to attend a wedding, or if the occasion imposes such attire. I’m sure my husband would like to see me in a more feminine outfit. Deep down inside of me, I guess I want to look like the typical female specie but my body type does not seem to want me to be embarrassed. Or maybe? Maybe I am just not so comfortable being a woman.

I have often asked myself why that is so. I have all those typical female characteristics. I love lipstick, I love colognes (perfumes give me a headache), I love bags, I love shoes, I love clothes and I adore my man. But why am I afraid to show my feminine side? Is it because it makes me feel that I am somehow rendered helpless when other men see me as a woman? Is it because I want to be accepted as an equal and not as the weaker sex?

I read and know of strong and unfeminine women who were deemed as “great” people of our time. Most of their profile, however, does not really fit the “sexy” category. They had great minds and I guess also had lesser time to paint their faces. That makes one wonder? When the mind is more dominant in a woman’s life, does she have to give up her looks?

To know how sexy you are, you might want to take this quiz. I was surprised to discover that the result said that I was quite the seductress =). Here’s the link for you.

http://quiz.ivillage.com/love/tests/Sexysingle.htm

sunday mornings




i love sunday mornings. it's lazy, it's lethargic and absolutely fantastic. it gives me a brief respite from the hustle and bustle of motherhood. i get to have a late breakfast, linger over my coffee, and wonder how i'll spend my sunday afternoon. probably tinker away in my laptop and update my blog.


this particular song by Maroon 5 from the album "Songs about Jane" pretty much describe how today feels.

here's the lyrics of the song, you might want to sing along.

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself home to you

And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow…

Friday, April 06, 2007

prayer


this was sent to me by a cousin.

Dear God,

Most of us always desire a perfect situation, a perfect life. Yet, you, my Lord, do not grant the perfect life. What You give instead is a perfect heart in the midst of an imperfect life. Teach me to be cheerful, hopeful, smiling amidst imperfections and to enjoy Your wondrous blessings every moment in time.

Amen.


My dad recently had an MRI which told us that he had small cysts in his brain. I was worried for my Dad, but somehow a voice inside of me was quietly telling me, " Do not be afraid." And just as the storm of emotions has started in my heart it has suddenly calmed. I knew who it was, it was someone I trusted. the being that was in total control of my whole life. it was my Lord calming me, comforting me.

Strange as it may seem I somehow welcomed this change in our lives. It was as if my heart was telling me, this will bring back your family together.

most of you are probably snickering at what im saying but then you don't know the life that my dad and mom had. as a daughter, i have eternally wanted my mom and dad to get along, to be madly in love with each other and live a happily-ever-after kinda life. isn't that what every normal child would want for their parents? they are living proof of a dream, if it can happen to them then it can also happen to me.

just this morning i was talking to my dad and i was surprised at what he told me. he told me that he liked my positive outlook in life. he said i always saw the positive and applied it my life, that was why my life was full of positive and good things.

coming from the person whom i looked up to all my life, that was a "proud" moment for me. i took my positive outlook from both my mom and my dad. they always taught me that after every storm in our life, a new beginning is imminent. as young as i am then, i knew they have given me a special gift, the gift of "Hope". and i clang to that all my life. i planned my life and my days knowing and always hoping that my life will get better. and you know what? IT HAD =) and that's because they believed in me and loved me no matter what.

So to my DAD, i pray that you be blessed with this gift as well. always seing the bright side of life. and i love you will all my heart.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Holy Week



This Holy Week I was once again immersed in our family tradition of the "Pabasa" (the Passion of Christ is sang by believers). Here's a picture of our "karosa", the flowers brought down from Baguio. It starts Holy Wednesday when we would prepare the Karosa where the statue of the Nazareno is held together with Simon carrying a big black cross. A "live" station of the Cross is commemorated along the streets.



The Nazareno, "Mamong" as we so fondly call him was owned by my family for more than 100 years old already. It passed from generations after generations. Each year, sadly, it becomes more modernized with mobile portable CD players to i-Pods where the background music was played as the procession goers walked from house to house commemorating the Fourteen Stations of the Cross. Before the whole family would be busy in the kitchen cutting away vegetables, peeling potatos, washing plates and kitchen utensils - now there are hired florists and chefs. Years back we walked barefoot along the darkly lit streets of A. Mabini Street in Caloocan City holding candles and solemnly commemorating Christ as he carried his cross along Calvary.




It was was more real to me back then, His passion and His pains. The Holy Week when I was little was more holier than it is now. I remember my grandmother and my aunts teaching us, mostly six-year-olds how to cook, cut vegetables and become very helpful in the kitchen. We were taught not to play, not to laugh so much and be very quiet mostly all throughout the week - as a form of sacrifice. Today I saw the week as a respite from work, when I could clean the house, remove stuff from the refrigerator, spend time with my family and catch up on some reading and probably watch some DVDs. If my grandma and aunts would see us now they would probably turn in their graves at the way we spend the "HOLY Week". But then for me being with the family is a Holy time. It's a time where I remember that this is the reason why I am alive, the very reason I breath and the very reason why I want to wake up and face the day again tomorrow.