What Matters Most

I wrote this post years ago about my wedding day and my dad. Because it's father's day I wanted to share it again.

Have you heard the song "what matters most" by Kenny Rankin? I love that song. I requested my dad to sing that song for me on my wedding day. I was so excited when he agreed, however when THE DAY came, he kinda chickened out. Instead a string quartet played the song while I was walking down the aisle. my eyes were so misty, i couldn't see a thing. in my mind, it was my dad who was singing for me.

I asked my dad why he backed out. He told me he felt so emotional that he couldn't even speak. the lyrics were simple, the message was clear. this song somehow depicts my farewell bid to my childhood. it was like saying, "mom and dad, the days that I spent with you had been sweet and unforgettable and now as I enter my new life I would like to thank you for the wonderful childhoold that i had, it will be the foundation i'll use to build my own family.

Thank you for showing me how to love unconditionally, that kind of love is very hard to come by. Thank you for teaching me that it did not matter that our lives were not so perfect as long as we were happy there was no problem greater than that. Thank you for letting me discover myself and teaching me to love the "me" that i found staring back in the mirror. Thank you for loving me in the good and bad times, just knowing you are there for me helped me become strong. thank you for being there for me as i learned to stand on my own and experience life. and thank you for opening my eyes to the world, letting me know that who I am and how I deal with other people will determine how happy and successful my life would be.


you both taught me it did not matter that loving someone could sometimes hurt so much you ached all over, what mattered was I was capable of loving - not all people have that gift. =) here's the lyrics of the song. hope you like it too

It's not how long we held each other's hand
What matters is how well we loved each other
It's not how far we travelled on our way
Of what we found to say
It's not the spring you see, but all the shades of green

It's not how long I held you in my arms
What matters is how sweet the years together
It's not how many summertimes we had to give to fall
The early morning smiles we tearfully recall
What matters most is that we loved at all.

It's not how many summertimes we had to give to fall
The early morning smiles we tearfully recall
What matters most is that we loved at all.

What matters most is that we loved at all.


I love you soooo much Dad - Happy Father's Day!

incidentally the picture in this post is not my wedding picture but that of my sister's. i love this picture. from left to right, that's my hubby, me, my mom, my sister, my dad and my brother. the flower girls are katrina and pia.

I would also like to say Happy Father's Day to hubby - the most wonderful dad to my precious daughters. Thank you for coming to my life.

Totally My Girl

The other day my ten-year-old daughter Ysabel asked me. "Mom, is it okay if I blog just like you?" I didn't hesitate and told her "Sure! wanna do it now?"

My eldest daughter is into books and she loves to write too. I cannot even begin to tell you how much she loves books. Whenever we go out she would always ask me, "Mom, I did very well in my exam, will you buy me a book?" And just like that she has started her book collection. It's something her dad and I support with all our hearts.

During Christmas when most children would ask for toys, the latest gadgets my eldest daughter would tell her godmothers and godfathers that she would love it so much if they bought her books for Christmas. And she was wise too, she would ask her godparents and grandparents different books so she would be able to maximize her growing wish list. This way no books were bought twice! Attah girl!

Together we designed her blog. Of course it has to be pink and there has to be a ballerina there. She also wanted to showcase the books she already have. We are still in the process of designing and I was amazed at how well she has envisioned what her blog would look like. She wrote the contents of her blog, even her profile description. She was funny and funky at the same time. She asked for my help to check her grammar and how she wanted her post to look like. And I enjoyed helping her do it.

I wanted to encourage her to write because I think this is a place she can develop herself to her full potential.

So to my sweet daughter, mommy supports you all the way. Keep on writing love. If you want to check out her blog please don't hesitate here's the link Totally Me

No Boundaries

One evening on the way home, hubby and I were having a discussion about relationships with people. We were talking about people who became close to us, became part of our daily lives and all of a sudden they say goodbye and we get hurt - almost betrayed. I told him maybe I shouldn't care so much, maybe I shouldn't be so attached, maybe if I don't get too close I'll survive. He says, I was going about this the wrong way. He said after all this time I still don't get it.

I get hurt because I always think in terms of forever.Well maybe he was right. I do tend to believe, well hope actually that good times...could last forever, I couldn't help it. Who wouldn't want something good to last a lifetime? Why couldn't it last a little while longer? That's why I fear death so much because that puts a period on my existence, on the existence of the people I love and care about. I remember my dad telling me I shouldn't fear it, one's existence does not end in death...if you loved the person deeply enough...then love transcends even in death. And he says death will come, that is certain. :( But until then there is only thing that stand between me and my happiness - ME. Because love has no boundaries.

I guess that was why I was particularly struck by a song written by Cara DioGuardi, its called No Boundaries. I loved the lyrics of the song so here I am sharing it with you.

seconds, hours, so many days
you know what you want but how long can you wait
every moment lasts forever
when you feel you've lost your way

and what if my chances were already gone
i started believing that i could be wrong
but you gave me one good reason
to fight and never walk away
so here i am still holding on

with every step you climb another mountain
every breath its harder to believe
you'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
to get to that one place
when you think the road is going no where
just when you almost gave up on your dreams
they take you by the hand
and show you that you can
there are no boundaries

i fought to the limit to stand on the edge
what if today is as good as it gets
dont know where the future is heading
but nothing is gonna bring me down

I've jumped every bridge
I've run every line
I've risked being safe
i always knew why, i always knew why
so here i am still holding on

you can go higher
you can go deeper
there are no boundaries
above and beneath you
break every rule 'cause there is nothing between you and your dreams
there are no boundaries



“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” ~ Mother Teresa

are you willing to take the risk? to LOVE without boundaries?

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom -
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into
bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom -
I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to
a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never
thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on - Pooped on - Spit on - Chewed on, or Peed on. I
had complete control of my mind and My thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests...or
give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got
gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom -
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I
never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the
hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I
never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love
being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't
know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that
bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make
sure all was okay.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never known The warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The
wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable
of feeling so much before I was a Mom.



Happy mother's day to my beloved mom, who always inspire me to be a good mom myself. I love you sooooo much. To all my mommy blogger friends - Happy mother's day to you all!

Touch and Go

Yesterday afternoon I went to my aunt's funeral. She's my mom's older sister. I remembered her as someone who was jolly, always cracking up jokes and taking me to places. I remembered how she always sided with me when I didn't want to have my long black hair cut during summer vacation. It's been a long time since I last saw her and it was sad that when I had to see her again it was at her funeral.

When I got to their place I felt really nostalgic, I remembered their place quite differently back then. I remembered it as a huge playground, where every nook and cranny was a magical place of make-believe. Now, my little playmates had kids like me, but their kids were older...their kids had kids of their own! I also saw my cousins, former playmates I seldom see anymore. And to my chagrin, I was informed just today - that I am now a grandma! Whoa! Good thing my grandson was sooooooo adorable that I forgave my niece for making me a very young grandma. Hehehe.

I was silent during the drive home, I couldn't help but think about the past and the present and how they are so intricately woven to how my future would be like. Life is so fragile, sometimes it's hard to hold on to it, it's always touch and go. I was sad to know that I wouldn't see my aunt anymore, but I was surprised at how strong her presence had been imprinted in my life; and somehow it comforted me to know that she will never really be gone nor forgotten in my heart.

Here's an old song by Rupert Holmes I heard on the radio the other day. A super dooper oldie. It tells how life couldn't last forever but promises that love could make it worth while. I'd like to share with you the lyrics.



Nobody said that
Life is always fair
Sometimes it clips your wings
While you're in mid-air
But there's a thread
Between your life and mine
And when you're losin' hope
This rope won't unwind

Hold on tight
'Cause life is touch and go
It's sink or swim
But never doubt
If you're out on a limb
I'll get the call
To break your fall
I'll never leave you
Even when life
Is touch and go
Or hit and run
We'll never break
If we take it as one
I'm here to stay,
I pray you know
I'll never touch
I'll never touch and go

Someday you'll find
There's nothin' in the night
That wasn't there before
You turned out the light
Straight from your mind
The monster 'neath your bed
The voices in the hall
They're all in your head

Hold on tight
'Cause life is touch and go
It's sink and swim
But never doubt
If you're out on a limb
I'll get the call
To break your fall
I'll never leave you
Even when life
Is touch and go
Or hit and run
We'll never break
If we take it as one
I'm here to stay,
I pray you know
I'll never touch
I'll never touch and go

When you feel lost
You're only spun around
Tumbled and tossed
But never run around
Life is a townful
Of strangers at best
I'll help you home
God help the rest

Hold on tight
'Cause life is touch and go
It's sink and swim
But never doubt
If you're out on a limb
I'll get the call
To break your fall
I'll never leave you
Even when life
Is touch and go
Or hit and run
We'll never break
If we take it as one
I'm here to stay,
I pray you know
I'll never touch
I'll never touch and go

Life is touch and go
It's sink or swim
But never doubt
If you're out on a limb
I'll get the call...

That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet. ~ Emily Dickinson

Breathe Again

The past few months have been terribly busy months for me. It feels totally wonderful having time to sit infront of my laptop and write something down. I missed Bloggerville soooo much. It's so good to breathe easily and not make life-altering decisions even for just a little while.

I have been in this constant tug-o-war between my work-life and family-life. I feel like I've been crossing too many bridges and shaking too many hands of late. The good news is I got a promotion! An unexpected prize for all the times I had to be away from my daughters. Another thing? It's summer time! My kids are now on vacation and that means beach time, swimming and travel! The crux though is, how do I squeeze in all these things in my busy life? Sigh.

Time magazine says the most important commodity today is "work". I am thankful that both hubby and I still have our work. I used to hate the corporate world, probably because I have this obscure picture of myself as a domesticated wife, raising my kids and running my home. Something I perceived as simple, do-able, easy. But then life has something else in store for me. I didn't know that I could juggle too! I was surprised to know that I could be a manager and be a mom at the same time and do good at both. The thing that I used to hate is now a challenge for me. I want to be good at it everyday. I have now shifted from mommy books to books about leadership. LOL! I am now friends with authors like Jack Welch, Warren Buffet, Stephen Covey, Robert Greene and of course John Maxwell.

My planner is my bestfriend, she manages both my work and my family life. Without her? I would be lost and clueless! If someone stole her, I'd pay the ransom instantly! Haha! I found it hard at first, I have met and dealt with some very hardened people but I have finally learned to adjust and not lose myself in the process. Some people could be very cruel. You could be friends today and enemies the next. You could be swallowed alive and not know it. Ahhh, enough about that. Today I promised myself to learn how to breath again. To enjoy this HOLY WEEK with my family doing simple stuff. Breathe in and out. That's my goal. Here's a quote that caught my eye today, hope you guys like it.

This is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or use it for good.
What I do today is important, because
I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes,
this day will be gone forever,
leaving in its place something
that I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain, not loss;
good not evil; success not failure;
in order that I shall not regret
the price I paid for it. ~ author unknown

Breathe my friends and always make time for life.

Love Sweet Love

Okay, it's just two days till Valentine's day and yes - I still wonder what hubby has in store for me on that day.

After all these years it's really sweet that he still comes up with some tricks up his sleeve during that day. And at the office, I am always the envy of the girls, married women too, because hubby always sends me the biggest bouquet of flowers. I would always blush a bright red color whenever the security guard would come over my table to deliver the flowers. The girls and even the boys would stand up and ogle. Some of my married colleagues would complain that their husbands aren't as sweet anymore.

My male colleagues would always wonder how hubby was able to buy the nice ones since they would always be sold out this time of the year. Hubby would say smugly, "it's because I planned ahead." Well you can't help but admire a man with a plan like that, can you?

Here's a re-post of a poem that hubby wrote for me way back when he attended a training workshop. They were asked to listen to a song and the song they were listening to evoked memories of me walking down the aisle and how he felt while he was waiting for me walk towards him to the altar.

Walking down the aisle
feels like a child getting a candy
the joy, the bliss, the happiness
is beyond what words can explain

Each second of waiting
seems like waiting for eternity
each step is like a loud clanging of bells

As the woman of your love and life comes near,
your heart pounds,

ready to explode

Like fireworks on New Year's Eve
the feeling flows
like a raging water
flowing from the heavens

To Hubby ~ I love you, for putting your hand into my heart and passing over all the foolish, weak things that you can’t help dimly seeing there, and for drawing out into the light all the beautiful belongings that no one else had looked quite so far enough to find ~Roy Croft

Happy Valentine's Day to my girls, my mom an dad, my brother and his family, my sister and hubby...and to all my lovely friends here in bloggerville! I wish you all LOVE sweeeeeet LOVE.

Do You Still Dream?

I woke up one morning and felt a little odd. I used to remember all of my dreams vividly, like I was watching a movie in my head and in technicolor! That morning I felt like I had a dreamless night, like my dream bucket was empty. Nothing spectacular, no splashing colors. It was a bit on the gray side. Like I was in a super massive black hole. Was I still dreaming? I asked myself and figured maybe I am. But what were they about? I don't remember anything.

Hmmmm. I mulled over it a little bit more as I was headed to the office. Usually, there was something I wanted to buy, or some place I wanted to go, or something I wanted to do. But that day? Nothing. Caput! And I couldn't say that I was breezing through life content with everything. Well, come to think of it, maybe I am content. But no, something was missing. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. The pull, the thrill...the passion? For a panic-stricken moment I thought, had I lost it? My dreams? Gone?!

Squishing my mind a bit more, I tried to think about something that I wanted so terribly right here, right now? Thinking still. Hmmmm....Shaking my head in frustration and chagrin - all I could come up with, was an utterly neurotic un-funny girlish answer, err Edward Cullen (the Twillight guy)?Huh! Rolling my eyes. What was that? I thought frustated. That was utterly uncreative of me. But you see, there was a sense of emptiness creeping up behind me.

Where was all the introspection? The deep answers to my life's purpose? Well, I guess I still know my purpose in life. And yup, I still have that whole list of valid reasons to wake up each morning tucket away in my brain, but - but...but what? It was faintly frustrating, like I was missing something but I don't know what it is yet. Acck! I guess I should let it go for awhile. Maybe it will dawn on me. I sure hope so. I remembered someone told me never ever stop dreaming. Is that what's happening? I ran out of dreams to dream?

In life, many thoughts are born in the course of a moment, an hour, a day. Some are dreams, some visions. Often, we are unable to distinguish between them. To some, they are the same; however, not all dreams are visions. Much energy is lost in fanciful dreams that never bear fruit. But visions are messages from the Great Spirit, each for a different purpose in life. Consequently, one person's vision may not be that of another. To have a vision, one must be prepared to receive it, and when it comes, to accept it. Thus when these inner urges become reality, only then can visions be fulfilled. The spiritual side of life knows everyone's heart and who to trust. How could a vision ever be given to someone to harbor if that person could not be trusted to carry it out. The message is simple: commitment precedes vision. ~ High Eagle

So tell me? Do you guys still dream? What do you guys dream about?