A belated Valentine's Day post.
Last February 12 hubby surprised me with a very romantic dinner. It was in a wine cellar restaurant. He had it all planned out. A bouquet of flowers were delivered to my office during lunch and then he said nothing in the car on our way home. We usually watched a movie on Friday nights, but that night he didn't ask if I wanted to see a movie. I thought it odd, but I also thought that maybe he felt a bit ackward because we had a small fight.
The Friday night traffic was ruining my mood actually. I wanted to get home early, we had a lot to cover the following day. PTA meeting at school, two birthday parties! Ahhh, just the thought makes me feel soooo tired already. All of a sudden he makes a sudden turn into this snotty-looking restaurant. I was aghast almost. Why??? I turned to say. And he had this ridiculous smile on his face. Surprise! Let's have dinner. And I went, "Dinner? Whaat? Here? Why this place looks expensive! A winery for petesakes!" I stumbled out of the car and followed him inside. Wine was strewn all over the place. Then a lady greeted us, "Sir, I thought you'd never come." They know each other? How? Hmmm, so he was here before? It seems the man planned this well. We were shown inside the wine cellar room, exclusive, dimly lit room with a table for two. Expensive wine surrounded us. The waiter went in and asked if we wanted wine and hubby said thanks and asked if we could have a moment alone. To say that I felt like a foolish teenager on my first date was an understatement. I was tickled pink!
I was blushing and he was smirking like a cheshire cat after licking a bowl of milk. "Happy Valentine's Day," he says, "Are you okay? It this okay?" I wanted to play hard to get. But I couldn't stop the smile that mirrored his from cropping up my face, even if my life depended on it. Of course I was okay, I was more than okay. I was happy! We had the place all to ourselves. We had wine, Italian food and just simply had a good time. Haha! Foolish man, I thought after 12 years he still manages to make me fall in love with him over again. After dinner he took me for a walk along the bay and then we had coffee. The man knew how to date! LOLz! Kidding aside, my hubby was always romantic and that's one of the things I love about him. I was happy to note that all this time, having two kids and all, still the love has not changed, in fact, has grown deeper and stronger.
Each day I thank God he gave me a partner who knows how to love. But don't you think that our marriage is perfect. We have our moments and our ups and downs as well, but I guess we know how to keep the love burning, we work at it each day. I can see the way my daughters look at the two of us when we hold hands or when hubby steals kisses playfully while they cheered on, they feel secure that their parents love each other. I am glad we can give that to them.
Some unsolicited advice, that worked for us:
1. Always make time to date. Just because you go home to the same house and sleep in the same bed does not mean that you have to stop dating. Make sure to fit in alone time with your spouse no matter how hectic your work life is. Hubby and I always go out on Fridays, to watch a movie or have dinner. Just the two of us.
2. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Hubby and I always make an effort to talk things through. That way we can clear things out, no grey areas...only clarity. Be truthful at all times. Trust is fragile, once broken you may not get another chance.
3. Take care of each other. Just because you take care of the kids does not give you license to neglect your husband's needs. My mom made sure I learned that lesson well. It's a work in progress but I always think of my hubby's needs as well as my kids as equally important.
4. Make your home a sanctuary where he can relax and recharge. Give the guy his own space to do his manly things. In the same way that you need to have your girl's day off, a man needs one or two :)Believe me he'll appreciate you more.
5. Love, love, love. Be affectionate and showy. Hold hands, kiss, cuddle. And never stop till you're too old to do it. The very essence of the relationship. When you have love, everything follows. Ann Landers say, If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.
There are no established set rules really only guides. In reality only you know what will work for you two. But the thing is dear, always make time for love. It's the secret to a long lasting marriage.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.I Corinthians 13:4-8