Sunday, December 24, 2006


Each year I get even busier during Christmas. This year was probably the worst, so far. I was only able to put up the Christmas tree this week. The children were wondering if we were ever going to put up a tree. The office was hectic with the year-end rush and I still had no gifts for everyone, to top it all up - I got sick. In the back of my mind I was thinking...can i possibly skip Christmas this year?

It was blasphemy of course! As soon as I said it I was remorseful. How can I even think of skipping the most important occassion of all time. The birth of Jesus.

My husband and I braved the stores and somehow finished all our shoppings! It was hellish! But the look on my children's faces as we finally put up the tree was priceless! It was as if, Christmas has finally began for them. And I was struck by the big responsibility I had in delivering to them Christmas each year. and just like that i was bitten by the Christmas bug! i was singing the carols, i was happily wrapping gifts, cleaning house and today, on Christmas eve, cook up a Christmas feast.

Don't worry bout the Christmas blues, it will go away. Let your heart be filled with the warmth of love and the gift of giving.

Happy Christmas!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Missing the City

Just this evening I realized that no matter how nice the setting was, if you are missing some people in your life, it just doesn't quite matter if you were somewhere nice if you were without them.

My husband and I, were sprawled in 2 hammocks with the view of the beach at sunset and boy it was spectacular. It looked like something someone painted in canvass and it's sooo breathtaking. And it was at that moment that i was suddenly hit by...homesickness. terrible right? I was in the middle of the most sought-after beach in the Philippines and all i could think about is my rowdy bedroom, my kids fighting over the remote control, my husband reading the newspaper and yours truly watching at the sidelines as each event unfolds.

unbelievable? yes. but i do miss my kids. terribly. it probably started because of the family in the next cabana looked very happy. the boy was always looking for his mommy wherever she goes, he wants to be right next to her. and suddenly i miss my kids =( i miss my routine, i miss my hectic life in the city, i miss my bed, i miss the irritating sound of the jeepneys and tricycles on the road across my house. i wanted to go home=( and i cannot last the day without knowing what time it was. it was quite pathetic, really.

i was not really surprised, actually i gave myself one night before i started to miss the kids but as soon as i arrived at the airport i was missing them already. i do call them often enough during the day but seeing them and feeling their arms around me makes a lot of difference. tomorrow i'll see them already, but in the meatime, i guess i better store up memories of my alone-time with my hubby.

next time we will definitely take the kids. one thing i am sure of? is that there WILL be a next time! this place is soooo beautiful.

right before me is a view, i will surely want to conjure up, when i am busy with my hectic life. my kids, yes i do miss them. a whole lot. but these moments with my husband, i will treasure in my heart for all times =)


My husband was assigned to go to Boracay to orient beach resorts and talk to marketing people from one of the leading airlines in the place. He asked me if i could, you know, come with him on the trip. Normally, I would have declined. I hate leaving the kids behind. But Boracay! For petesakes, what was i thinking about. i just had to go!

At first it was only supposed to be an overnight thingy now its 3 days 2 nights. How can i refuse? After listing down things for my yaya to remember and had a talk with my kids that mom and dad had to be away just for awhile. I was sooooo excited about the trip. I bought swim wear and beach things for the trip and i couldn't wait.

The short trip to Boracay was uneventful. But when I saw the beach, i immediately fell in love. the white powdery sand, the crystal blue waters, the cool weather, it was unbelievable! i just had to have a dip in the water. after a quick change, we were immersed in the cool waters. ahhhh, paradise. catch you later guys =)

Thursday, November 09, 2006

declassified guide to survival

En route to work this morning I heard the radio announcer say - "to guarantee a person's survival in this world one has to have these three things" -
Something to do
Someone to love
Something to look forward to

Mulling over those phrases I could not help but agree.
People do get by each day because they know that every time they open their eyes something has to be done that day. They are confident that the people they love will accept them as they are and that they are loved back, no matter what. And maybe someday get that grand retirement or go on a dream vacation.

And somehow that get's them by each day of their lives, i know I do. =)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

my horoscope today

i don't really believe in horoscopes but this one hits the bullseye, so i just had to write it down.
There may be a bit of confusion in your world today, dear Virgo. Trying to make sense of what is going on might not be the easiest task. Rational thinking and analytical processes may not be the best way to go about finding the solution. You might be better off just letting the issue lie for now and dealing with it later when the facts are more clear. Let go of control and the desire to make sense of it all. Instead, just relax and let the day take you where it will.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

What on Earth am I here for?

I am very sure that most of us - if not all of us, have, at some point in our existence asked ourselves this question, "What the heck am I here for?". Then someone comes along, a friend, a lover, a son, a daughter, our parents, then somehow we are shown a path. A path we willingly take, in the hope that, it will unravel the mystery of our existence. But as we go along we are deceived and somehow side-tracked of our purpose.

Interestingly the 1st chapter of the book says and i quote, "It's not about you. The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It's far greater than your family , your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose." I don't want to pre-empt would be readers of the book, because i am still in day 5 myself, but the 1st paragraph sure is catchy. those words certainly made their mark on me. Definitely a "must-read" for people who are searching for their purpose.

another interesting part in Day 5 is the quote from Anais Nin - US(french-born)author and diarist. Here's the quote "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." I was startled to realize that i do, most of the time, see situations, hear people talk, and probably pre-judge them according to who i am. and so the plot thickens, as they say. it feels good to look inwards, inside yourself and take a peep into your heart. is HE still there? is GOD still in the grand scheme of things in MY life? If HE were to ask me today what I did with my life that fulfilled His purpose? will the people i loved, people i touched, people i helped be enough to secure me a place in eternity?

another quote from Anais Nin "life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. this is a kind of a death."


Here's an entry in my old blog that I have decided to republish here.

As young as seven, I knew what managing time meant. I managed my time then between studying, eating and of course for playing and horsing around. That was my main goal then. If I managed my time well I would have more time for the things I wanted to do. Like watching TV and playing my favorite games. As I grew older, I took this habit with me. It was particularly helpful during my college days. I managed my time right then so that I would have more time to myself during weekends. Of course it was a tremendous help when I had kids, I would mentally calculate my schedule the next day so that I would be able to finish all my "to-dos" within a specific time frame.

As I review my day these days I seem to get lesser time for contemplation. I notice more and more that the time I have to myself tantamount to six hours to six-and-a-half at most in the 24-hours we have in a day! And that already includes sleep! Well, yes I do enjoy being hands on to my kids but "six hours" is not enough time for me, even to recharge! Just take a look at my typical workday sked:

5:30 get the hot water going (water is quite scarce nowadays)
6:15 Take a quick shower, as in quick!
6:30 Wake my daughter up and bathe her.
6:45 Dress her, fix her snacks for school, fix my lunch bag and
that of my hubby's, and hand her over to yaya for breakfast
7:00 Get dressed as quickly as possible.
7:15 Take my daughter to school.
7:30 Arrive at the FX station to Makati. (but now I have a car, thank God!)
8:30 Have a quick breakfast at my table and work my butt off!
5:30pm Go home, drop by the drugstore or grocery for some
7:30pm Arrive home, change clothes
7:45pm Have a quick dinner. (Thank God my mom cooks for me!)
8:00pm Check if my daughter had any assignments
8:15pm Get the kids and transfer to my house.
8:30pm Fix my daughter's snack for tomorrow, prepare the sandwiches,
put my baby's things in a bag for tomorrow's use.
9:00pm Get the kids ready for bed... and probably squeeze in 5
minute to go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, brush my
kids teeth.
9:15pm Prep the bed.
9:30pm Story time!!!
10:00pm The kids start to sleep....Thank God!
10:45pm Finally they're asleep.
11:00pm I can sleep! But wait! I didn't even have time
for some small talk with my husband, hmmm maybe tomorrow.

I open my eyes the next day and then the day starts again! Too much for you? Well I can now imagine how my mom did it, and there were three of us then! But then there were a lot of people volunteering to take care of us, my grandma, my aunts who just live next door. Today, you are sooo lucky to find a good household help, not to mention a very reliable yaya. But I know that all this hard work will pay off. My kids are growing up well. My eldest is quite a whiz kid, if I may say so. And my youngest is not to be outdone as well! They are both well loved and taken good care of that I hope they would be as discriminate with the people they make friends with and boys they fall in love with when they grow up. And I also hope they realize how much sacrifice and how much time their mother spends just making sure they are in good hands!

grumpy at 7am

they say that if you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all. i can sing it, though, right? i feel kinda low today. there's something bugging me and i can't do anything about it right now. human nature says, run away. that would be too easy an escape - but sadly it would not solve anything. i want to be swallowed by the ocean, I want to be enveloped in peace, I want to smell happiness in the air. it's ironic that living simply... is not so simple after all.(sigh)

when i was young I remember someone told me that, if you put a seashell in your ear you will hear the ocean inside. if you carry it with will feel like you're in the beach all the time. so sing it to me Mr. Cross.

It's not far down to paradise
At least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away
And find tranquility
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

It's not far to never never land
No reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find the joy
Of innocence again
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

Takes me away
To where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free

It gets the best of me
When I'm sailing
All caught up in the reverie
Every word is a symphony
Won't you believe me

It's not far back to sanity
At least it's not for me
And when the wind is right you can sail away
And find serenity
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

Sunday, October 01, 2006

A Grown Up Christmas List


Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown up christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
and wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth
(there'd be)

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown up christmas list

This song is really moving =)

A Dream Vacation

Ahhh, Paris. I promised myself one day I will come and visit her. I have already pictured it in my mind. I am lazing in the banks of Seine, sipping coffee in the sidewalk cafe'. Having a romantic walk from the Eiffel Tower through the many gardens and parks as I am humming La Vien Rose'. Hmmm the very thought of it excites me. Its a dream I promise not to give up. One day I will walk through those cobbled-stone streets, smell the air and feel how laidback life is here.

No wonder Europeans are contemplative people, they have a lot scenic views and romantic places to do just that. That is my ultimate dream vacation. To store up memories of this beautiful City and take snap shots of memories.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mums Day!!!

Today I would like to make a tribute to the best Mom in the world! My MOM!

My mom is not techy, so I guess she won't be able to read my blog, but I wrote her a letter. Being a mom myself I now fully realize how much of her has rubbed off on me. I pretty much mother my children the way my mom brought me up.

My mom, is pretty much a hands-on-mom. She takes care of our needs herself, eventhough we had nannies. She does not leave that task to the nanny who takes care of us. She gives us a bath in the morning, fixes our breakfast, dresses us for school and makes sure we have the right books and notebooks in our bag everyday. After all that, she gets ready for work. Mind you, she goes to school in the evening for her college classes. How she managed, I do not know. But I guess she had a good support group then.

She become a wife at a tender age of 17 and became a mom at age 19. The very thought of being a mom at that age, brings shivers down my spine. I became a mom when i was almost 30! and I thought I was still ill-prepared for the rigours of motherhood then! Since she was still in college when she got married, she decided to finish college when she had the 3 of us. If that happened to me right now, I'd probably be freaking my heart out! Anyways, my mom was the ultimate multi-tasker. In fact, when I was growing up I sometimes think that she secretly had herself cloned. Why? Well she was always on top of everything that's happening at home, she never missed a PTA meeting, she always helped us finish our homeworks, she fixes my hair all the time, she takes care of my other 2 siblings, and my dad. There was one time when I had my first born she told me, she always made sure that all 3 of us looked clean and neat. She told me that how my children looked and deal with other people is a reflection of how poorly or how well Itook care of them. I guess I took a mental note of that and made sure that my children always looked good as often as I can and conducted themselves with proper manners.

My mom always looked pretty and every inch a woman. In fact, to this day I could not recall a single day that she did not look all made up and looking like she's going somewhere special. She takes care of her body and skin. I remember when I was preparing to get married she would always give me tips every now and then. One thing I could not forget was this, "Always look good for your husband. Be a good mother and wife by day and a mistress at night." I was quite shocked at what she said then, not quite knowing what she meant by that. But now I know=) I guess that's what makes our married life...interesting =)

It's tough being a mom. I know that now. One has to have a heart of steel to wheather the storms and a heart of gold to melt the strongest of wills. She can develop 8 pairs of eyes when the need arises. One pair for work, one pair for the daughter, one for the son, a pair for dad -of course, a pair for all her other loved ones and sometimes forgetting to reserve one for herself. A mom can be your worst nightmare when she wants you to do something right and she could be the bestfried you could ever have. My mom was all those roles to me and so much more.
Whatever roles our moms are in right now, I have it on good authority that they are doing what they know best...and that is LOVING US.

I love you Mom, you're really the best!!!!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Mission Impossible

The Mission : Should I decide to take it, was to have a romantic-and-hopefully-a-relaxing evening with my hubby.

I was able to convince my husband to drive us to work today, we usually commute because it was expensive to take the car everyday. I planned a simple night out, a movie then dinner. We got there early so, we had a leisurely breakfast together which rarely happens on regular days. It was a great start to a cool day...right? Of course it was... a good start, that is.

Since I was early I was able to get on a head start to do some of my deliverables, I was right on track and that brought a smile to my first smile this week. The morning was pretty much uneventful, quite the way I liked it. I was listening to my MP3 player while I was typing away at my computer, signing this and that, and consulting my staff. Lunch, was filling, I had Japanese food for lunch and red ice tea. That fact brought another smile on my face -) the mission was progressing quite well.

Got back to the office, mentally reviewing my activities for the afternoon. Meeting with the Complaints Handling Team - check! KPIs done - check! it was already 4 pm in the afternoon. It was rainy outside and that, I said to myself, was somewhat romantic. Tickets for the movies? - Oh NO! I forgot to make reservations!!!! A quick trip to pay for the SureSeats tickets - check! Training materials for Monday's orientation - where the heck is it?! Not yet done? Oh No! it was already 5:30 the movie starts at 6:25pm. The phone rang, it was my date, checking if I was ready to go in 10 minutes. 10 minutes?! panic attacks were again starting to paralyze my body. the training materials how could I have forgotten?! How can I prepare it in 10 minutes? and then photocopy it for 35 participants. again the mission was turning to be an impossible one.

But like Ethan Hunt - I was determined to make it today. I had my people photocopy the materials, I was able to get some training materials from previous trainings done by the other unit. Viola! I'm done. Now to freshen up, look good at least, for my date. Mind you, the movie was everything-but relaxing, but it was great! I got the chance to cuddle up to my hubby and squeeze his hand every now and then. Pretty romantic huh? i thought so.

My mission here was accomplished! =)

Sunday, February 19, 2006

a spurt of growth

well what do you know? i sure had a growth spurt recently. i was promoted to assistant manager last January. Hoooray right? But the funny part is that I have never felt soooooo down in my life. Like what Spiderman's uncle said, "With great power, comes great responsibility...". That was probably the part I was most hesitant about.

My life was somehow turned upside down. I now have to attend tons of meetings, manage all sorts of people, and do a lot of delegating, innovating and managing...sometimes I feel that everybody wants a piece of me and that makes me feel so tired. But hey! What am I complaining about? I was promoted right? that means I must be doing something right? i guess now i have to continue what i'm doing right, you'll never know what i might be capable of achieving ...=)

Saturday, January 07, 2006

new year, new lease on life

im starting the year by changing my template to green, that way there's more life and growth in my blog. this year my new year's resolution?
give way to growth

there is so much to do, so much to experience, so much to live for. today i won't be afraid to grow, to shine, to show the rest of the world that i am capable of doing great things. My new year's motto "you only have one life, one chance ..." i said to myself this year, this moment, i would start enjoying the rest of my life.