Monday, December 26, 2016

Someday, Somewhere

I wrote a father's day post way back in 2008 thanking my dad for all his love and patience and this is his reply to it.
It could have been an empty life without you child. A time is coming when I could only walk with you in silence clothed in the veils of the night i could only whisper the words I LOVE YOU by the breath of the winds that touches your ears. I will always be with you for I will never leave you. Now while I can I say....I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
I guess it came.

That day when he can only walk with me in silence and would whisper the words I Love You by the breath of the winds touching my ear.

My dad died 24 days ago, I can not even begin to process that those were the number of days that had passed already, it seemed like it was only yesterday.

This is the first Christmas that we won't spend it together. I have thought of writing my feelings for many days now but I couldn't find the courage to. I am not sure if I can even finish this post successfully without tears clouding my eyes. So far so good.

I would like to think that I was part of my dad's best days and vice versa. I was there for my dad in his best and in the bad ones. I was blessed to spend the last years, months and days with him, fully celebrating life as best as we could. I was able to talk to him - a lot, confide in him my fears and problems and debated with him on how to solve it. I argued and laughed with him - he was a very good friend.

I was also given the privilege to show him some of his many first experiences - like going to Starbucks and choosing his first latte. I was the one who encouraged him to become a blogger! And the most important of all, for me, I was able to let him know every day, how much I loved him.

I just wish...we had more time together. But I know that he is in a better place now. A place he longed to come home to for many years, I just realized that these past few weeks. I will always wish to have him beside me, there will be days that I will need him to comfort me.  There will be days where I would want to tell him what happened to my day. There will be days I wished he was there to hold my hand and hold me tight. But for now, I would have to grit my teeth and bear it. Someday, somewhere we will be together again.

Thank you dad, for the wonderful years we had together. You were more than a dad, you were a friend, a mentor...a soul mate. While I miss you so much, I am more thankful that you were granted the grace of dying in your sleep and waking up in heaven. I love you so much! Until we meet again. Here's a link to my dad's favorite song.