Monday, December 26, 2016

Someday, Somewhere

I wrote a father's day post way back in 2008 thanking my dad for all his love and patience and this is his reply to it.
It could have been an empty life without you child. A time is coming when I could only walk with you in silence clothed in the veils of the night i could only whisper the words I LOVE YOU by the breath of the winds that touches your ears. I will always be with you for I will never leave you. Now while I can I say....I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
I guess it came.

That day when he can only walk with me in silence and would whisper the words I Love You by the breath of the winds touching my ear.

My dad died 24 days ago, I can not even begin to process that those were the number of days that had passed already, it seemed like it was only yesterday.

This is the first Christmas that we won't spend it together. I have thought of writing my feelings for many days now but I couldn't find the courage to. I am not sure if I can even finish this post successfully without tears clouding my eyes. So far so good.

I would like to think that I was part of my dad's best days and vice versa. I was there for my dad in his best and in the bad ones. I was blessed to spend the last years, months and days with him, fully celebrating life as best as we could. I was able to talk to him - a lot, confide in him my fears and problems and debated with him on how to solve it. I argued and laughed with him - he was a very good friend.

I was also given the privilege to show him some of his many first experiences - like going to Starbucks and choosing his first latte. I was the one who encouraged him to become a blogger! And the most important of all, for me, I was able to let him know every day, how much I loved him.

I just wish...we had more time together. But I know that he is in a better place now. A place he longed to come home to for many years, I just realized that these past few weeks. I will always wish to have him beside me, there will be days that I will need him to comfort me.  There will be days where I would want to tell him what happened to my day. There will be days I wished he was there to hold my hand and hold me tight. But for now, I would have to grit my teeth and bear it. Someday, somewhere we will be together again.

Thank you dad, for the wonderful years we had together. You were more than a dad, you were a friend, a mentor...a soul mate. While I miss you so much, I am more thankful that you were granted the grace of dying in your sleep and waking up in heaven. I love you so much! Until we meet again. Here's a link to my dad's favorite song.

Sunday, January 03, 2016

Auld Lang Syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, 
And never brought to mind? 
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, 
And auld lang syne

Watched the movie New Year's Eve and that song stuck when Lea Michele sang it in the movie.

As I was cleaning the house yesterday afternoon I went over the past year like I always do during the new year. I lost two of my dear aunts in the first two months of the year, my eldest graduated high school in March. She went to college a few months after. My mom fell down and had concussion that scared us all and my dad was hospitalized for 2 days and I stayed with him. So many things happening in between. We also decided to buy a new property near work as traffic in Manila was getting from worst to ridiculously hateful. I was also given another team to handle and a big undertaking at work to pull together. Phew! 

On the family-side of things, I make an effort to spend as much of my free time with the family as I can. Losing my dear aunts earlier last year made me realize that spending time with my parents and making them feel loved is one of my top is indeed too short. Reflecting on the year that was, aside from the sad beginning of the year it was overall not very bad, it was a year that I felt I worked the hardest but felt good about it. It was also a year that my husband and I made serious decisions about our future. We made several decisions on how we want to go forward with the family and how we wanted the future to look like. I think it was a year that I felt grown-up the most LOL!

I stopped making new year's resolution long ago. I set goals now instead and I try my best to achieve each one. As one gets older I guess we learn to pick out which battles we want to tackle, which ones we can miss out on and still survive.  

As for me, I cherish each day as much as I could. I begin the day whispering to God how thankful I am for a new day He gave me to start over, I scoot over to cuddle and get my morning dose of hugs and kisses from the love of my life - this is  a requirement before I head off to cook breakfast. I also make a pitstop to the girls' room to kiss their sleepyheads and say "I love you". And just like that I have energy to face another day of my life.

Like all new years that passed I look forward to what life has in store for me and my family. I believe, like the child I was before, that good and happier times are yet to come. 

From my family to yours, cheers to a New Year my dear friends!