I am in a panic mode.
Christmas is a few days away and I am not ready to face it. All of a sudden, I felt like Mister Scrooge reincarnated. I was thinking all sorts of things. I love to go shopping but just thinking about the effort to wrap up all the gifts makes me feel so exhausted. The Christmas dinner, each year? I would search my cookbook and come up with holiday treats that I could do with the kids. Now I don't have any idea what to cook. I have no excuse, I am not prepared for it. I had no time. Aarrrgh!
I felt bad for the kids. I felt so much like a bad mom, too busy with the career and neglecting home. That's not how I envisioned my kids would see me. I am in a rut.
So yesterday, hubby and I, together with the kids and the nanny set out for a day of Christmas shopping. I know what you're thinking - christmas shopping with the kids?! What was I thinking about? Hehe. Well, that's me hitting two birds with one stone. I wanted to be with the kids...but I am pressed for time, I needed to go shopping otherwise no gift-giving on Christmas. Sigh. Good thing my nanny was there to help me out. So we set out to dive into hidden treasures for the "perfect" christmas gift.
Before we set out to go shopping, we had mass at the Greenbelt Chapel. I loved hearing mass there, it was solemn and condusive. The kids were having fun...I felt peace somehow. That night I received my perfect gift. A message from above.
The homily was very good. The priest said, "Happiness, is an inside job." That caught my attention. I listened intently as he says that during Christmas we, at some point, put on a facade that we are the "saviour" ready to save the world with our own version of "giving". We set out to paint our houses, spend so much on gifts - most of the time overspend, we lavish our houses with ornaments and we pretent that we have it all covered...we pretend that "this" was what Christmas was all about. He says that Christmas is not that at all.
He says, we should not put so much guilt and weight on our shoulders -just to please other people. That way, we lose the spirit...we lose the gift of giving because it becomes automatic to give in that way. Sometimes, we should allow ourselves to feel the happiness and let the spirit of Christmas overpower us. Because that was what He wanted us to experience. The joy that comes with the remembering His birth. During Christmas He wants us to feel like a child again, anticipating His coming, as he brings His gifts of love. I don't know why, but I felt relief.
This season, I think we should all learn to relax a bit and just enjoy the experience. Forget the things we have to do and accomplish. It all starts inside, that tingly feeling we get in our chest as our hearts burst with love and happiness. Let's make it happen, let LOVE come from the inside then out.
“There's more, much more, to Christmas than candlelight and cheer; It's the spirit of sweet friendship that brightens all year. It's thoughtfulness and kindness, It's hope reborn again, For peace, for understanding, And for goodwill to men!”
Merry Christmas to you my dear dear friends! I wish you all good things and blessings all year round.