Saturday, August 25, 2007
living for the moment
My life revolves around schedules. It helps keep my life on track.
Everyday I map out my plan in my mind. I set a schedule on how my day would start and when it would end. That makes me feel in control of things. My watch is my best friend. Most of the time I could more or less calculate how hectic my day would be. Be it in the office or at home.
It has drawbacks, though. Sometimes even if I'm on vacation I tend to schedule each moment in the hope that I could squeeze in all the things that I wanted to do, sometimes to my hubby's chagrin.
I envy people who live for the moment, they can enjoy their life without worrying what to do next. It's a behaviour I want to change in my life. One day I would love to throw away my planner and "go with the flow" so to speak. I want to do something spontaneous, some spur-of-the-moment activity. I guess I am lucky that hubby is one such person. He helps me go out of my shell and do something unprompted. He patiently coaches me and bears with me when I freak out and want to know what we will be doing next. I know he just wanted me to forget about my worries and enjoy the moment.
I sometimes blame it on my rigid, all-catholic-girls-school upbringing. I remember being raised by the nuns at school, everything must be tidy, no unnecessary laughters, no unnecessary movements, everything has to have purpose or you are just wasting your time, it's where being spontaneous is sometimes misconstrued as promiscuity. We were probably being molded into their likeness. LOL. And believe me a lot of people thought I was "nun-material". Haha!
But really, I long for the day that I could stop to worry about tomorrow and just live for the moment. Enjoy the ride, enjoy the breeze, enjoy the food, enjoy the company and just simply enjoy the moment.
I came across this wonderful post by Gurushabad, it's called Enjoying the Moment, a valuable lesson to be learned here.
Don't let life pass us by...it's meant to be lived.
Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have. - Doris Mortman