Saturday, September 22, 2007

Alone



I had the whole day to myself today, although my kids are at home they were having their own activities. Hubby has post-graduate classes today which starts in the morning and ends at 7:30pm. The afternoon was pretty quiet, the kids had their afternoon siesta and are both still sleeping while I'm writing this. I should be too but I did not feel like doing anything in particular.

I first thought of doing some accounting of my expenses which I enjoy doing when all is quiet in the house but I thought that was particularly boring right now. I thought of reading some of the books that I bought some weeks back but I did not feel like doing that either. Suddenly I was alone and the stillness of our room was deafening. It was a strange feeling being by myself today. As I look at both my kids sleeping soundly I wanted to wake them up and play with them right now. But I know how much they needed the sleep. They both had the flu last week and their bodies are still recovering. So I guess, that leaves you and me right now. But it's the weekend so you're probably doing somethingelse too.

Strange thoughts are crossing through my mind right now. I am again fast-forwarding my life thinking about the future. When my daughters have families of their own and don't have much time for me...wonder what hubby and I would be doing then?I have thought of travelling to different countries when I retire, writing memoirs and collecting souveniers. But I sort of feel blue and I can't seem to shake the feeling. Laughing, I scolded myself for asking for respite from the hectic life and now that I had it, I didn't know what to do with a lot of time in my hands. Ah, the irony.

It's raining outside, it's as if the skies are crying too. Adding to my feeling of loneliness. I watched a couple of old movies but that did not help too. Arrggggh! I need noise! I need to do something that will make me think. So I guess this post is what came out from that moment of insanity. Ha ha!

Happy Weekend guys! And thank you for keeping me company.

14 thoughts:

Colin said...

Strange thoughts and moments of insanity? You mean sometimes you have momentary glimpses of being sane? Scary thought huh :)

Nice post Lisa, let us know when you find your sanity again LOL

Enjoy the rest of your weekend :)

Colin

Sophiagurl said...

@@@Colin - that's the problem sometimes being left on my own...hahaha. sanity leaves me =) LOL. I was hoping I left it with you? Being the marble-keeper and all. LOL.

Have a great weekend Colin.

FOOTPRINTS (aka ourfootprints aka Annita) said...

Sophia, I also prefer to have some 'noises'around me. As parents, I guess our brains are so wired to those precious voices.

In my case, sanity leaves me when my car suddenly gets very quite. Ah, that loneliness!! By then my mind usually drifts away .. (and so does my 'speed')

Blessings for you all ^_^

P.S. hope your girls have speedy recovering from the flu ^_^

akanksha said...

hey...is it me or you who wrote that?? I am going through such a similar feeling...lonely weekend for me too:-( Parents out to a relative's place and mbrother bzy with his studies and books.So that left me all alone through the weekend as i dont relly have any friends here in town.Thoughts of past and future kept me occupied and they left a bit of gloom which i am trying to push away but still unsucessful at that.Its good to have fellow bloggers around...:-) atleast there are a few updated blogs that e can read and comment upon..right?
Take care.>:D<

Mighty Morgan said...

Sort of funny how that whole thing works...You pray for a moment, just a moment to relax, unwind, sit alone in silence and then when you get it the only thing you can think of is "ok..whats next..what can I do"
I can totally identify with your "blue" feeling and hopefully your day will yield into the other colors of the rainbow
:)

therapydoc said...

Being a blogger means you're never really alone.

surjit said...

Mind is a chatter box. Even if it does not find any other person to talk to, it will start its own monologue.. It is quite natural.
Have a happy week end Sophiagurl.
God bless.

RubyShooZ said...

I used to have times like that and I found music to be pretty therapeutic during those times. Turn up the volume and dance!

Here's to happiness in the alone time.

Peace and happiness.

~ RS ~

Sophiagurl said...

@@@Annita - the irony was I wanted a peaceful weekend...it turned out my Saturday was too peaceful for my taste. Sunday is back to normal everyone is up and about jamming my ears as usual. Have a great day!

@@@Akanksha - if only I knew you were feeling the blues yesterday I would have jammed in with you. =)I guess being left alone was not exactly my idea of a peaceful Saturday haha. Hope all is better now.

@@@Mighty Morgan - LOL! I guess that's me in a nut shell. I have to know what to do next otherwise I get a little fidgety. Thank you for the visit.

@@@therapydoc - you are right! that's why I was counting on other bloggers to keep me company. =)

@@@Surjit - thank you Surjit, I guess my mind was having a pretty sad monologue yesterday. =)

@@@Rubyshooz - yes music helped me get through the afternoon! Peace and happiness to you too Ruby=)

Qtpies7 said...

I've been there, too. I think its a side-effect of having young children. I am much better able to have quiet now that my first set of kids have grown to teens. My little ones being asleep or away is a small joy for a short time. And I would definately fill it with blogging!

Kalyan said...

We will always be there in your solitude & loneliness...these kind of moments comes back to everyone of us in different ways...these moments also gives us some time to ponder and relook, what we have been going and move ahead with a new zeal...!

Sophiagurl said...

@@@Qtpies7 - hahaha. I know what you mean. And blogging is definitely a nice way to spend spare time.

@@@Kalyan - thanks it's comforting to know that I have friends to turn to at times like these.=)

Rajeev said...

Well, sometimes too much of silence can be deafening! isn't it?
makes u go crazy! hehe! I've been there! :P

peace & love
Jeevy

Sophiagurl said...

@@@Jeevy - you are soooo right Jeevy! And I guess that's why friends were made to keep you company during this crazy "alone" times! =)Loved your post today btw.